Wow, exactly this week last year, this month ,it was nothing short of stress, problem solving, long phone calls and less sleep. It was a week before the wedding, let me rather say- it was few days before the wedding . The anxiety of ” what if” was taking a big toll on me. My husband and I both lost weight, not that we were not eating but something was eating us from the inside. We really had supportive people around us, but we kept on telling ourselves “they dont know exactly how we feel and they just dont understand”. The stress that creeps in even when you know you have everything under control. Mama called me so many times that week, she asked me if I can come home earlier, I wanted to but I had to sort things out in Joburg that week.
Can you believe that we bought rings exactly a week before the wedding,(we always knew which rings we wanted but we were always sorting certain things that we left them for the last minute). We didnt get custom-made rings, that made things easier and less stressful for us. We believed in simplicity and thats what we got.
My colleagues and my boss complained about how skinny I have become. There was nothing much I could have done, even when I decided that I wont be stressed, something always came into my mind and stole the mini peace I comforted myself with.
The cake had to be changed, just few days before the “BIG DAY”. This didnt stress me much, I dont know why.
I had a long phone call with Daddy on the Wednesday before the wedding:
Daddy: Dear daughter, how are you?
Me: Phew Daddy, can it be Monday already( Monday after the wedding)
Daddy: Hao, why?
Me: This is just too much for me, I am so stressed and worried about the whole thing
Daddy: Relax Bassie girl, dont worry. Is everything being paid? the venue? the decor? the photographers? catering ? and your garments are ready?
Me: Yes Daddy, everything has been paid and we are ready.
Daddy: So listen to me, no matter what happens, you are getting married on Saturday, whether the decor lady forgets to put a center piece on one of the tables, what matters is that at the end of this coming Saturday you will be married to your best friend. Whether your friends come or not, whether food isnt enough, whether it rains or not, your wedding day is almost here and I will be there smiling and feeling so proud of the woman you have become. Dont stress, I know it sounds like a cliche but I mean what I say. Has worrying ever solved any of your problems?Has worrying ever made you feel good?
Me:Phew Daddy, I never looked at this whole thing like this. Worrying brings nothing but more worries. Thanks Daddy.
Daddy: Then my daughter, I shall see you on Saturday. You must enjoy your wedding day because it comes only once, make sure you have fun, no matter what happens, if your playlist is not exactly how you wanted it to be, dont panic, you can try sort it out but if it not, enjoy nonetheless. I say again, I am proud of you Bassie girl.
Me: Thanks Daddy.
I felt so much better after talking to Daddy. He always knows how to make me feel better and to change my perspective. My mothers spoke to me as well (but I think they were too excited or worried at some point that they just become emotional)
We were so blessed, we had a committee (family and friends who made sure that the day becomes a success). The committee made things easier, the burden on our shoulders became lighter. We met once a month, and in October (Closer to the wedding) we met twice. They helped us with the programme for the day, table setting, keeping track with our suppliers, checklist etc . They were also doing follow up with all other family members who were coming from other countries (Malawi, Zambia and Namibia). The committee made sure that logistics for the events goes smoothly.
So, I didnt go home a week before the wedding like everybody does, I felt like if I do, I will go crazy, besides that, I had to sort out certain things without asking anyone to do it for me. We left Johannesburg on Friday afternoon (it was supposed to be morning), we almost forgot the rings, we thank God for our aunt who insisted that we have a checklist. We prayed that nothing must go wrong, we had to ask the petrol attendant to recheck more than once the things he already confirmed.
I will share more about my wedding day bliss, drama, laughter and all, later this week.